A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... ...there was a young boy named Luke Skywalker. Like many boys his age, Luke dreamed of becoming a Jedi, just like his father. He would stare up at the sky and dream of adventures among the stars. At first, all signs seemed to indicate that…
Coffee? Tea? Bathroom cleanser?
The other day I was enjoying a cup of coffee. It was so good, I thought I'd have a second cup. I filled up my mug, and headed toward the computer to check some emails, but decided to hit the bathroom first. I went to set my coffee mug on the shelf that stands just…
Another letter from a reader (The Mr. Boffo Incident)
I recently received the following letter from a fan: Dear Mikey, Please don't laugh at me, but I'm one of 2,485 Americans that suffer from a very rare brain condition called Nogetus DeBoffo Disease. There is still very little known about this strange condition, but what we do know is shocking. Almost immediately upon the…
Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) – Smoker of fags (cigarettes)
There's nothing I can say that will describe what you're about to watch. Don't deny yourself this. Seriously. Don't. It's not short, but it's not long. When you finish come back and praise me for sharing it with you, then watch it again. (If it has problems loading, you can also click here to see…
High school metaphors and analogies.
This was forwarded to me by a friend. So funny! Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners..... 1. Her face was…
Dipping into the Negative Waves archives
I haven't really posted anything significant in a little while, so I thought I thought I'd dive into the archives of Negative Waves and pull out one of my old columns. One of my friends didn't know what the acronym KIT stood for. So I was reminded of this column I wrote in 2003 about…
A Christmas story sure to warm your hearts.
So with Christmas coming up, I thought that I should tell you the story of my Christmas last year. It was truly a special one. It all began when I went to the mall to get some last minute shopping done. It wasn't going well, I kept getting distracted by the kids lined up to…
A basic grammar lesson; plus, a quick aside to Vespa owners: not very manly.
Earlier this afternoon I was exchanging a couple emails with my good friend Carlyn. In one of those emails I used the term, "beeotch." As in, "My fantasy football team rocks, beeotch!" I had to point out to Carlyn that the term "beeotch," as used in this capacity, is not actually a derogatory word intended…
Naked blogging and pick-up lines.
My girlfriend and I had a fight the other day and for a minute there I thought we were finished. Hell, we actually might be still, but I think things are okay. Regardless, I realized a couple things over the last few days. Number one: I need to stop offering up such personal information on…
Ricardo Montalban – Lima Bean Farmer?
Someone once asked me, "What's on your mind, Mikey? What are you thinking about?" More often than not, I'd answer with something like, "Nuthin'. Why? What are you thinking about?" But today, if someone were to ask me that question, I'd have a different answer for them. Today, that conversation would go something like this:…
Because the World is Round 