What does this mean?

Sometimes I get startled when the toast pops up. I mean I know it's coming. I'm expecting it. But it just pops up so suddenly that I can't help but jump. Somehow I'm sure this is something that could be used to explain a lot of my issues.

Winter weight. I’m hungry!

So it feels like every year around this time I start to feel like I'm getting really fat. Of course, I know I'm not really fat, but I can see the extra pounds in my face, more than anything. I'm convinced it all starts around Thanksgiving, when I eat more than a human should be…

Homecoming…the Monday after.

So I spent the weekend in Cedar Rapids, Iowa for my college homecoming. I know I saw a lot old friends there, but I only wish I could remember what we talked about. Let's see, I remember spilling butter on Josh Johnson's hardwood floor. That was nice. I'm sure he liked that. I remember losing…

They’rrrree grrrrrreeaaat!

Last night for dinner I ate Frosted Flakes. I didn't have a bowl of Frosted Flakes, mind you, I just ate them straight out of the box while watching a Seinfeld rerun. It was the episode where Kramer's first name is revealed and George thinks he's dating a bulimic model. But there I was, enjoying…