Cease and Desist (Or: we need a new band name)

Yesterday The Finalists got a message in our MySpace account from a lawyer for the band The Finalist (singular) saying that it might be in our best interest to change our band’s name.

Actually, here’s the message:

Hi Matt, Mike and Todd,

I am the attorney for the Maverick/ Warner Bros. recording artist The Finalist, who have trademark rights in the name The Finalist.

It has come to our attention that you recently started using the name The Finalists to identify your band. In order to protect our clients trademarks, we must request that you use another name to identify your band. Given the obvious confusion to fans (as even evidenced in comments on your Myspace site) with The Finalists name and trademark, it is in your best interest not to start building a brand that you will not ultimately be able to use.

If you have any questions or need further clarification, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Best regards,
XXXXXXXX

P.S. The Finalist will be playing in your area at Mob Fest. Check http://www.myspace.com/thefinalist for the venue and time. Let us know if you can attend the show.

So, it looks like we’ll have to find a new name for our band. We’ve already been kicking around some names. Personally I think we should be called Far Away Mikey and the Bullish Bullhorn Gang, but so far I don’t think it’s catching with the others. Either that or Harvey Leventhal’s Bar Mitsvah. In fact, here’s a list of names for those of you who might be looking to start your own band.

The Drain
Smarmy Joe and the Grease
Licking Angela
Sister Mary Jock Itch
Papercut Blood
Oliver Octopus and the Tentacles
Raindrop Bullets
The Seizure
The Knuckle Wraps
Snufalupogus Johnson
The Tiny
The Thwarted Antagonists
Fleece McGee and the Dirt Merchants
The Discussion
Book Club
Hank Do Right and the Sinners
The Carving
Splintered Rubies
The Formidable
Your Mom
The Unsalted Menagerie
Hokey Poke Hank and the Ministers of Funk
Dancing Bear
The Fresh Makers
The Sip
The Blue Greenies
Checkbox
Focault’s Diaphragm
Rotunda Happerstern and the Scaffold

These are all up for grabs. If either of my bandmates happen to read this and see something they like, I’ll be sure to let you know. If you do use one of these band names, all I ask is that you write a song about me and lemme come back stage when you win a grammy for it.

8 thoughts on “Cease and Desist (Or: we need a new band name)

  1. absolutelymatty says:

    I feel compelled to contribute my suggestions either out of boredom or duty. In compiling this list I tried to be unbiased, time will tell if I succeeded.

    1) Slappy’s Torn Teddy
    2) Slappy’s Getting Married
    3) Secret Slappy Band
    4) 掴 (Slap)
    5) Slappy’s Pajama’s
    6) Slappy Six
    7) Slappy Gone Wild
    8) You Can’t Nuke Slappy (He’s Too Big)
    9) Slappy’s Stingy Tipping Policy
    10) Slappy’s Buying

  2. TheShortFatKid says:

    How about Smorgasborgnine?

    It is an old Skankin Pickles song so you may get a letter from them and Ernest Borgnine’s attorneys. Plus a letter from the International Assoc. of Smorgasborgs. But I think the name may be worth the trouble.

  3. missmonk says:

    i’ve always been partial to Macaroni and Death.

    but it’s so frickin hard to find a good band name that has not been taken these days…….
    Macaroni and Death- up for grabs. I’ll sell you the rights.

    cheap.

  4. Tianna says:

    u should use something simple like “Think It Over” or something ’cause i mean after all u have 2 think it over about your band name so… use something 4m the problem ur having right now.

  5. Tianna says:

    me again. i hav a good one if this isn’t already taken. since u guys r the finalist like a finalist in a competition. then, u should use like “THE END RESULT” or something. it’s sort of hardcore but it could b taken. i hav no clue.

  6. Brandon G. says:

    Hey hey hey. I have thought of a list of band names that may help some of you out there:

    Okie Dokie on Fire
    Lets burn the Underworld
    Blend Together
    Frogwood
    Im in the closet
    Velvet on fire
    You look better in blood
    Honey I killed the kids
    KYS (kill yourself softly)
    The betrayed
    Ultimate Denial
    Im innocent gunshots
    The blue sky numb chux
    Drowning in Ice
    Motormouth is a copy of you
    The Pit bull vengence
    Reincarntaion of the Rat
    The violet works

    If you want any just email me at Discopanic@peoplepc.com, tell me the one, and ill give you the patent. (Your rights.)
    B Dogg Nate Sure

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