So it feels like every year around this time I start to feel like I’m getting really fat. Of course, I know I’m not really fat, but I can see the extra pounds in my face, more than anything. I’m convinced it all starts around Thanksgiving, when I eat more than a human should be allowed to consume in a single sitting. Thus expanding my stomach for future meals, most of which consist of Thanksgiving leftovers, which naturally lends itself to overindulging all over again. This sort of sets the tone for the next couple weeks. Now that my body has become used to taking in so much food, it simply expects it. And just as I start to realize that this is the case, I find myself slapped in the face by Christmas meals. There’s the large Christmas Eve meal and the large Christmas day meal. Not to mention all the candy and cookies that’re laying around all day. Plus the appetizers, and all the pop and beer that needs to be taken in.
It’s getting out of hand.
Sure, it’s easy for you to say that I could go exercise. It’s easy for you to say, “lay off the baked ham and Kit Kat sandwiches with extra mayo on onion rolls, Mikey.” It’s easy for you to stare down the barrel of a King Kong sized Whopper from Burger King and not have to order three of them.
For godsake, I’m just a man. What do you want from me?
I mean just look at me, I’m hideous!