Earlier this afternoon I was exchanging a couple emails with my good friend Carlyn. In one of those emails I used the term, “beeotch.” As in, “My fantasy football team rocks, beeotch!” I had to point out to Carlyn that the term “beeotch,” as used in this capacity, is not actually a derogatory word intended as an insult. In fact, the term “beeotch” is actually very misunderstood. The usage of the term as applied above should be viewed, rather, as another form of punctuation. As it happens, in many instances the word itself could be used directly in lieu of the exclamation point.

Example given:
“I just got laid, beeotch.”
Translation: “I just got laid!”

Or, when used in a sentence containing particularly exciting information, it might imply a double exclamation point.

Example given:
“That chick has got a seriously busted grill, beeotch!”
Translation: “Dude, that chick has got some fucked up teeth!!”
(Slang terminology translation provided free of charge.)

Similarly, “beeotch” can also be used in the exclamation point/question mark combination:

Example given:
“You mean you caught him and your mom together, beeotch?”
Translation: “He nailed your mom!?”

So as you can see, when used correctly, the term “beeotch” is not at all an insulting word. In fact, it is quite useful when attempting to convey a message containing an importance that might otherwise be overlooked by the average layperson. (Yes, “average layperson” is a redundant phrase, but I left it there to show off the fact that I recognize such matters of language and am therefore particularly qualified to elaborate on such subjects as those being discussed here.)

Please note the difference between the following phrases:

“I just got a kickin’ new Vespa, beeotch.”

“I just got a kickin’ new Vespa, bitch.”

The latter of these two statements is intended to imply superiority. The use of the word, “bitch” in such a fashion is letting the addressee know that he/she is being looked down upon. It’s as if the speaker were saying, “Yo, poor-ass dorksnot, I just got this sweet new ride that makes your pansy-ass moped look like a busted up bigwheel. I spit on you and laugh at you as you peddle. Bitch.”

I will refrain, however, from commenting on why someone who has purchased a Vespa might feel they have to right to rain superiority down on anyone. This is an issue unrelated to the one under discussion, but a point which should certainly be addressed, nonetheless. With that said, I hope it is clear that the first of the above two statements should be recognized as a person simply addressing another individual with excitment in regard to his/her new acquistion, as opposed to speaking down toward that individual.

It’s a fine line, but one that is also quite clear.

I will address your questions and concerns at this time.

3 thoughts on “A basic grammar lesson; plus, a quick aside to Vespa owners: not very manly.

  1. Well said though there is still a little confusion over how to interpret the following statements when both terms are put into the same sentance in what I would like to call the bitch-beeotch connection:

    1) (Directed towards Ose): I am totally sick of you always stealing my socks like a bitch, beeotch!
    2) (When directed at Bubba): I will go to class once your bitch ass gets off me, beeotch!

    As you can see, in these two instances I am able to communicate the message that the other person, in this case Bubba and Ose, are both resembling that of either a female dog or a lewd/spiteful woman while accentuating the level in which I am communicating.

    Would this use of both terms, in your respected opinion, be considered a grammatical fallacy or perhaps bitchy regurgitation?

    Any assistance you could provide to me in this area would be greatly helpful…beeotch!

  2. Ah, indeed yours is the question of a true scholar.

    After pondering these scenarios, I believe you are correct in pointing them out as accurate abberrations to the rule of beeotch. For in both of your, naturally, hypothetical situations, the addressee is one whom a person would regard as a bitch. However, that is not to say that there is not a certain level of affection that accompanies those feelings within the realm that is their bitchdom.

    Therefore, after careful consideration I can’t help but conlclude that your judgements are valid. Both parties being addressed are, in fact, behaving like bitches, and therefore should be addressed as such. But by including the “beeotch” to close your sentence, you are adding an even greater level of significance to your statements. Again, this should be viewed almost as an additional excalmation point. So for this reason, you have proven the theory to remain true.

    Well done, bitch. Well done.

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