What’s a guy to do when he really wants to blog about something but really has nothing to blog about? Before I get into that, I need to point out that I accidentally deleted my post from yesterday. I was talking about how Jessica Simpson would probably fall in love with me if we were to meet. So that kinda pissed me off. (The fact that I deleted it pissed me off, not Jessica Simpson falling in love with me.) But really, sometimes the silliest little things piss me off. Like when you get that one part of your sock bunched up under the arch on the bottom of your foot and the only way to fix it is to take your shoe completely off. That pisses me off.
But even though Jessica and Nick are splitting up, I can’t help but wonder about the future. But wondering about the future often leaves one longing for the past. Longing and wondering.
For example, I’m wondering what Jessica was drinking on this night.
Probably just Diet Coke.
So I was cleaning my house last night. And by house I mean apartment. And by cleaning I mean pushing dirt around. Actually, I got on my hands and knees and washed the kitchen and bathroom floors for once. I cleaned my toilet and my bathtub.
Bathtub cleaning sucks, cause you clean it and scrub and then when you rinse it all the water drains really slowly so the film of cleanser sort of just floats on top as the water level drops until it just ends up sitting on the floor of the tub again. It gets to the point where you actually have to push the water toward the drain and stuff. I mean this is sort of hard work. And for a guy who’s only ever done this like three other times in his life, it’s a little humbling, let me tell you. I mean I can coordinate and edit a 360 page Disney storybook, but getting the soapy film off the bottom of my tub is a freakin’ challenge. So I decided the best thing to do would be to get the hose. So I ran to Ace Hardware and bought 1000 feet worth of hose and ran it up from the front of my apartment complex. It took quite awhile to get it all strung up there, cause I live on the second floor, but once I did, man, what a timesaver! I hosed down the tub, the sink, the toilet. It was great. It worked so well, I decided I should try it in the living room. So instead of dusting I hosed down my bookshelves, the televsion, my desk — really, I just sprayed anywhere that I felt was dirty.
I realized too late that hoses and living room cleaning don’t really mix all that well.