Why?

What a good question this is!

Why did you do that? Why is this here? Why didn’t you tell me that? Why would I say that? Why am I naked? Why do you think I killed him? Why is my toothbrush in your shoe? Why did you lick my forehead? Why is this rat poison in the cupboard? Why would I steal your jock strap? Why is mom clucking like a chicken? Why didn’t I wear pants today? Why is it that every time I come over you smell like sulfur? Why are those fish wearing earrings? Why did that man just lick his lips when he looked at you? Why are you spanking yourself? Why is there blood trickling from your ear? Why do you always cry when I mention Greta Van Sustern? Why isn’t my urine more delicious to the taste? Why do you think I did that? Why does everyone flee when I do that? Why don’t squirrels like to play fetch? Why won’t someone hire me as a ballet dancer? Why can’t I wear white after Labor Day? Why did I have to eat that last piece of pizza? Why can’t penguins fly? Why are you still here? Why would a man in my position need to steal eyeliner? Why is it that you never tell me you love me, Officer? Why is my nipple leaking? Why won’t this thing budge? Why do you have a Lincoln Log in your ear? Why is is your car parked on my grandmother? Why can’t you just shut up? Why would I want to help you shave that? Why won’t Ben Affleck just die? Why does Arbor Day only have to come once a year? Why didn’t Obi Wan go back and finish off Annakin? Why do birds suddenly appear every time you take out the trash? Why are these stains on my carpet? Why do I have to explain these midgets to you? Why don’t you ever let me try your iron lung, grandpa? Why is this hose that’s connected to the gas line running under the door to my bedroom, Dad? Why are we here?

Why indeed?

Because the world is round.

9 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Becky says:

    When my son was four, he asked me the “whys” all the way to nursery school, which was a fifteen mile drive. In exasperation toward the end of the drive, I told him that I didn’t know,dropped him off and drove home. No big deal.

    When I went back to get him, his teacher asked me what I had done to him. I was baffled. She said he had followed her around all afternoon saying, “My mommy said she didn’t know. Why doesn’t she know? She’s a mommy. Isn’t she supposed to know?” At the age of four, he had discovered my limitations.

    His son just turned three. I find myself wondering when he will have a similar experience.

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  3. Leita says:

    Heh, your post nudged the memory of a test I took years ago.

    One sheet of paper, one question: “Why?”

    I answered, then looked around as most everyone else scratched out 100+ word answers and started to worry. By the time I was ready to try a deeper answer it was too late.

    My answer: “Why not?”

    My GPA smiled.

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