If your name is Nick, you’ve already got a Nick name, so disregard this post.

I’m trying to start a new trend of nicknames. I’m tired of the same old nicknames we give people whose name we can’t recall right off the top of our head. We’ve all had that awkward moment.

“Hey, Mikey, how you doin’ today?”

“Why, hey there…you…I’m good, good, thanks. How’re you, Buddy?”

It’s an old problem and I’m certainly not the first to ever bring it up. But I am going to be among the first to offer a solution for this problem. As a service to you guys, I will provide you with alternatives to such standby nicknames as Ace, Champ, Chief, Big Guy, and Slugger. Not only that, but my proven program will even let you learn how to create nicknames of your own that will be sure to impress your family, friends, and business associates.

The key is creativity. That’s right. You must think “outside the box.” I have personally found in my personal tests that personally I prefer a personalized approach to each person. Follow? In otherwords, if you have a friend who’s a big hockey fan, you might call him/her Kicksave.

“Hey there, Kicksave! You wanna catch a movie this weekend?”

And just like that, the person you are addressing automatically finds themselves drawn to your charms. You haven’t been so forward as to address them by their first name, but yet you chose a nickname that represents something they enjoy. And this stands out.

But do you know what else stands out? The syllables. That’s right! Just by using a simple two syllable word, you’ve demonstrated that you’re not so lazy as to address that person with a simple shortening of one’s name. In some cases, two syllables might actually be an increase in syllables over their actual name. If you were addressing your friend, George, which do you think would sound like the more caring a supportive statement?

“You’re a real asshat, George, I hope you die in your sleep!”

or

“You’re the greatest, Catfish. You’re a real pal!”

I think the choice is obvious. The second statement is clearly the more supportive. And you do see why, don’t you? That’s right, because you substituted a clever and thoughtful nickname in for his real name. Right now your friend George is thinking, “Geez, he could have just called me George, my given single-syllable birthname. But no, he went above and beyond by calling me Catfish. A word that not only has two syllables, but also implies knowledge of my love for fly fishing. Whatta great guy!”

So you see? Just by taking the time to piece together two useless words into one longer word, you can have people eating out of the palm of your hand. Try these other popular multi-syllable nicknames on the house. And don’t be afraid to tell your friends and family where your improvement in lifestyle came from as a result. Enjoy:

Honkytonk
Switchblade
Skytrain
Shoehorn
Adlib
Cookiedough
Appleseed
Papercut
Sockhole
Subsandwich
Gardenmulch
Frostedflake
Bottlecap
Showerhead
Railslide

These are just a few of the many options that are available to you today. For you too can come up with your own, fresh nicknames. Your options are almost infinite. The secret is in the word itself. If you look closely at the nicknames listed above, you’ll notice that each one is actually made up of two seperate words, but without a space.

I can’t believe I just spilled the beans, but since I did, let’s take it a little further. As an example, I’m going to use the nickname, Ovenmitt. Now behold as I unveil the secret: “Oven” is actually one word on its own, as is the word “mitt.” But what I’ve done here is push the two separate words together to make one long word, “ovenmitt.” Did you see how simple that was?

Now you try it: Cream Corn

Can you make that nickname happen? That’s right, it’s creamcorn, as in: “‘Sup witchoo, Creamcorn? Gimme a call, we’ll hook it up.”

So there you have it. A one time lesson for all of you to get in good with every single person you know. Everyone wants a nickname, but most just aren’t willing to admit it.

13 thoughts on “If your name is Nick, you’ve already got a Nick name, so disregard this post.

  1. Greg says:

    Can you catch catfish with flies? I thought it was more the trout type fish…I thought catfish were bottom feeders.

    Just goes to show, you learn something new every day in the BlogWorld!

    Your pal,
    JerkAss

  2. Mikey says:

    Thanks for your post, Honkytonk. I guess I have no idea what kind of fish you catch when fly fishing. Never been, myself.

    So, don’t take my word for it. Guess it wasn’t the thoughtful nickname I thought it was after all.

  3. Ralph says:

    Hey there! Sorry to spoil your methods but pushing together two (or more!) words just leaving out on the space is a huge german tradition. We do it all the time. Automatically. We are born that way! But as you figured it out on your own you can be proud. Welcome aboard πŸ™‚

  4. Pingback: slapjack
  5. alireza_takpar says:

    salam be hameye irania makhsoosan hojat abbas shahin
    mikham ye shere asheghane dar vakonam
    baya baya koooche bbaya πŸ˜€
    man an golbarge maghrooram ke mimiram ze tanhaii
    vali ba khefato khari peye shabnam nemigardam

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